...When my hand's in your hand...

Dear Kadon,

I just wanted to tell you that I love you.

Sometimes I take for granted that two years ago I would have cut off my leg to have someone to hold hands with, write notes to, be frustrated at, and get me flowers. Kadon. Seriously. You're the best.

Thank-you for making me feel loved. For ALWAYS being attracted to me... even when I'm not attractive. For putting me first. For wanting my family to like you (mission accomplished). For being more needy than you realize. For wanting me around. For making me laugh when I want to punch you. For being there for me even though you don't understand me all the time. For letting me be myself. For encouraging me to be better. For laughing at me when I fall... in a weird, twisted way. For listening to me. For being my friend.

There are so many wonderful things that all add up to you. Your thinning hair ;). Your fake, yet adorable, smile you put on in pictures. Your devil-child grin you can't hide when you're doing something you know you shouldn't or will really tick me off. Your ever-growing need to go shopping (comes in handy). Your terrible sense of humor. The way you push yourself to be better every single day. You are so good at everything and that helps me when I feel like I'm not good at anything (you have enough talent for the both of us).

I love being married to you, coming home to you. Looking forward to seeing you, even though I just left for work.

This is what I've always wanted. I wanted this life with you. All of it. The not-so-fun stuff, too. The other day you told me that neither of us was living our fairytale. I AM. Things are hard... a lot of the time. I'm impatient and not always kind. I'm stubborn and inappropriate. Whether or not I'm perfect, I am living my fairytale because I'm with you. Through thick and through thin. Rough and smooth. Rich and poor. Time and eternity.
It just doesn't get any more fairytale than that.

...When you like yourself...

...So count your blessings.

Here are some of mine:

-Kadon... In SO many ways

-Sunshine

-Family

-Wind in my hair

-A car

-Food

-The ability to laugh

-My job, which I'm not always thrilled with, but provides so much support and purpose

-My co-workers

-Missions

-The gospel

-Growing-up

-Self-control

-Forgiveness

-Repentance

-The atonement

-Corinthians 4:17-18

"This too shall Pass"

  

...Even when you think you aren't...

Sometimes you need someone to tell you you're grand. Sometimes that person has to be you.

Sometimes I feel like I can't do "it".

Then I remember, I can.

Not because I'm special.

Not because I've got "something no one else has".

But because I have a knowledge of God's love for me,

And that love overcomes

ALL.

...when you're lucky enough to be married.

I don't have a whole lot of time to post, but I wanted to finally put something on this thing and in light of today's events I wanted to share my testimony of marriage.

I don't have a perfect marriage. A lot of that has to do with my own imperfection. But I am so lucky. I have a husband who loves me. I love him. I believe in love. I believe in all sorts of love and I also believe that love crosses and branches out over all sorts of boundaries. I believe that love is love, no matter what. Which has driven me a little crazy trying to figure out not so much where I stand on the subject of "gay marriage",  but why.

I love my Heavenly Father. I believe that He loves each of us, as His children, equally regardless of our differences or relationship with Him. I know that He wants us to be happy. We're here to be happy. "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy." I feel the truth of this in my heart every day. When I look at my husband, when I feel the sunshine on my face, smell the fresh air, kiss my nieces and nephews, hug my parents, or see a smile on a stranger's face.

God has decreed that marriage is between man and woman, husband and wife. All I know is that His laws are irrevocable. We can change the laws of the land to our heart's content, but it still doesn't change the unalterable principle and law of marriage. The definition is not something you can change, and that is not up to us. As I said before, I believe that Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to be happy and while I don't know everything, and I don't always know why things are the way they are, I do know that we have been given very clear instruction; That we have a prophet who leads and guides us as directed by our Father in Heaven; That someday we'll have all the answers - even though we don't have them now and we can't be sure when we will. I have faith that someday I can know all things.
And that's enough for me.